2007 My Year of Self-Reliance

At the close of the year in the western tradition, we tend to overeat, overspend, and generally engage in many forms of excess that we excuse by calling it ‘the Christmas Season’. Then comes the ‘New Year’ when we make resolutions—the promise to repent of those things we just did and do better starting now. 

Usually the things we intend to get better at are focused around moderation—eating less and exercising more to lose weight; budgeting to save money and avoid going deeper into debt; being kinder and less judgmental to those around us; doing preventive maintenance on our homes and vehicles to avoid problems later; paying our taxes before April 15^th; but somehow the farther away from January 1^st   we get, it seems those good intentions lose importance in the inevitable mundane progress of daily life, and all returns to the way it was before.

As John Lennon said,

            “Life is what happens while we are making other plans.”

If we aren’t careful, we can live our whole lives reacting to things, letting them ‘happen’ to us in crisis after crisis—I have some personal experience with this phenomenon. I plan for an event or course of action, but then other things get in the way. Sometimes those things are not avoidable, as in a car accident or weather event that causes a missed appointment, but in many cases the cause is really inability to measure time.   

Time is a sensitive subject for many, including me. I admit I am terribly inefficient at measuring time for myself. For my entire working career, time was the focus of my day. Getting up on time, being at work on time, answering the phone in time, hanging up before time was up, arranging time off, and it seemed that time was my enemy. I was always working against time, instead of managing my responsibilities so time wasn’t the focus. My horoscope often has advice that seems to fit my personality—the more rigid the time constraint, the more I fight against it, to my own detriment. I’ve also heard it called ‘Pagan time’—a half hour, give or take.

Now that I have retired (early) I don’t know how I managed to keep a corporate job for 30 years!! I also got my children raised and have been going to college for the last five. I now find it difficult to make plans for two days in a row. Multitasking used to be easier for me when it was part of my job. I worry that I am being still, not ‘doing’ anything. When I had limited time, I did more with less of it, including fun things. I haven’t been able to tackle reading or doing creative things that are enjoyable pastimes in an open-ended way, yet. A friend who retired a few years earlier than I did calls it ‘the long vacation’ syndrome. After nearly a year off, I still feel as if I will have to go back to the old routine tomorrow, so I don’t start something I won’t be able to finish in a weekend.

What I have learned about myself—or to put it more precisely, what I have accepted about myself—is that I’ve had the luxury of squandering time. As one of the young oldsters of the Baby Boomer generation, I am reminded often that time is marching on, and I don’t have an endless quantity of it. I want to learn to handle it better. These days I treat every morning as a gift, and I try to take advantage of feeling my body being healthy with a good stretch and a deep breath. I used to need at least seven hours of sleep. Now I can get up easily after four, and then nap later in the day. I believe it has been a healthier routine for me, because I am not under the stress of a workday schedule. I try not to feel guilty that I am still under the covers, relaxed, with the day ahead of me to enjoy at a leisurely pace. The knowledge that I have ‘some’ time is a burden to me if I don’t get going early, though. I find that I really do function better in the morning, now that I am driving myself, instead of the clock being in charge.

So, this January 1^st my New Year’s Resolution is not going to be vague or open-ended. I resolve 2007 to be My Year of Self-Reliance. I have determined that it is important to me to continue having time to pursue projects and pastimes that interest me instead of going back to the corporate, structured-time existence. One of the lifestyle changes I want to pursue is to become more self-sustaining and to be environmentally friendly—maybe off the energy grid at some point, and learn ways of living that involve more physical activity instead of dollars. I am putting some plans in motion to make my wishes into realities. My first projects will be moving (next week) to avoid paying rent while I do some home improvements, planning an organic vegetable garden, and completion of my website to chronicle the trials and obstacles as well as the fun!

My progress will be serialized in journal form online over the next weeks and months, and hopefully this time next year I will have some good ideas and advice I can share in book form, especially for those who may also be contemplating more economical and natural ways of living.

Wishing you all a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Check out my updates at www.conversationcorner.com/blog.html

This time of year always gets me down a little bit. There is so much planning and scurrying around--and the actual 'holiday' is over in a blink. The most important meaning-spending time with loved ones and friends-seems to take a back seat to the shopping and drinking and overeating, I have observed. It may be my perspective, but over the years all of the preparations and expenditures have become the focus of attention, especially because our economy gets an end of year boost with all of the consumerism that happens in this season. It is still the thought that counts, isn't it?

Having removed myself from the conspicuous consumption treadmill some time ago, I tend to view the displays during the entire holiday season as a little garish and overdone. I can't help wondering why anyone would wish to spend a year's energy budget in just one month to light the OUTSIDE of their home.. not to mention the waste of resources, when in Denver alone there are 10,000 homeless and many more with barely a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. Magnify that to include the homeless and hungry around the planet. Shocking and terrible. That is why we choose not to think about them. How luxurious to just be able to snuggle in our soft beds and shut the real world's agony out of our lives.

The concentration on non-functional items as gifts is another puzzle. I like sparkly things just as much or maybe even more than some, but there needs to be a context for purchases of luxury items - it is so easy in our instant gratification society to be swayed by advertising and the availability of credit - some level of practicality should be applied before the decision to blow three months' salary on items so clearly 'icing' instead of 'cake'. The sham is going to be over soon, however. Economists have been speaking the doom and gloom for 2007 for a few months now, so that means we have been in trouble for a while, but every stock trader has been trying to squeeze the last possible dollar of profit out before the end.

In this season, which espouses to be that of peace on earth and good-will toward men there is an endless supply of Hollywood's vision: cozy fires, feasts at table, glittering lights and mountains of prettily wrapped gifts in warm and secure surroundings - the American dream? Not for all.. Even in our own country there are tremendous disparities between what wants and needs are, and how many families can really attain the artificial level of comforts which set the benchmark of having 'made it'.

In other parts of the world our waste and selfishness as a culture is seen as a disgusting display of abuse of power and recklessness with our natural resources. There is a disconnect between how we Americans see ourselves and how we see all other peoples-as well as how they view us... we have advertised ourselves as the epitome of achievement in every way. We have drunk the kool-aid and believe our own myth. Yes, we have more of just about everything, but that includes ego and pride, and to others in the world, we appear to have exalted ourselves above all other humans.

It is necessary for us to come back to an existence more in line with reality if we are to work in concert with the rest of the world to solve global problems. It has been a great error in judgment by leaders in this country-not just government leaders, but those in business and education, too-to present the world as 'our' oyster, and not belonging to all nations equally. The idea that we can overcome anything because we have gathered monetary wealth has a faulty premise: that the world's wealth belongs to US as the "world's only superpower".

Wealth exists in many forms and across all arbitrary boundaries. Of all the nations in the world, we are perhaps the least wealthy in understanding our place within it, and as a result also the least wealthy in it’s good will toward us, though that is not what the news commentators say. As long as we believe blindly, we will act blindly, and we are very near the proverbial cliff's edge. Some would even say we have already gone over it but haven't acknowledged it yet.

For this and all succeeding seasons, it is my fervent wish that we as a nation can pull ourselves back from that cliff and make the world a better place for everyone; so all may share in the wealth of the earth and protect our precious resources. When we recognize that every mother on earth mourns the loss of her child to needless wars, starvation and disease, and every father yearns to provide a safe and peaceful place for his family we may begin to appreciate what we have. Every compassionate thought and action on the world's behalf will bring true peace and good-will to us as well as the receivers.

Last night the moon was beautiful, full and opaque in the cold winter sky. Once seen, it is difficult to concentrate on anything else - the urge to stop right where I am and gaze upward is strong. Its as if there is a power drawing me to bathe in her bright beauty and receive strength from the feeling of peace she bestows.

To me, the full moon signifies a view of life from a distance, beyond the strife of the here and now, the unrest of civilizations throughout time. The moon has been witness to the rise and fall of nations all over the world and stands serene, contemplating, weeping for the misjudgments of humans, the acts of destruction causing so much pain.

Just as she continues to show her fullness eon after eon, bestowing a healing light reaching into every dark corner, so must the peoples of the Earth recognize that life itself is an unalterable cycle, regardless of arbitrary boundaries and nationalistic sabre-rattling. Does any one group desire harmony and well-being more than any other? I think not.

As the glow of the full Mother Moon draws us into a sense of calm and perfect contentment, let all the people of the Earth call up from within ourselves the wish for peace over the world, and it will be so.

For John, who knew~